ju15 in idea barrages

1.) Oh that Trump, up bright and early for a brisk walk, his morning unconstitutional.

2.) The cat has the fur colouration and the nimble hands of a skunk, the dog farts like a skunk spray, between the two of them, they could match a skunk in most ways.

3.) We aren’t going to break our Stockholm Syndrome as a nation until we admit that our current wealthy class didn’t get rich creating jobs, they got rich destroying them, busting unions, turning living wages into Wal-Mart/Amazon/Uber cruel subsistence. Only then do we have a chance.

4.) I will often attempt to re-enact the McCarthy Hearings with Ollie, looking down into his eyes and sternly asking “ARE YOU OR HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A DOG?” but he won’t play along, he’ll just look back at me with his patented “I want what the cat’s eating” stare.

5.) It’s too bad that the name “Doctor Who” is not the canon name of the character, only known as The Doctor, because if it were we could use time-travel to have two different iterations of The Doctor argue if their collective plural would be “Doctors Who” or “Doctor Whos”.

6.) When they tried trimming back The Grinch’s enlarged heart back to a healthy size, they overtrimmed making it even smaller than before in HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY GRINCH.

7.) I stand by the assertion that “Doctor Stephen Strange” is 10,000 times less ridiculous a legal given name that “Benedict Cumberbatch”.

8.) Whenever I see an article about the Le Mans car race, a deep instinctive part of me wants to fix it to either “Le Men” or the English-French mash-up “Les Men”.

9.) John Travolta, in his bathroom done up in his secret female Psychlo costume, singing into the mirror “Doncha wish your girlfriend was Terl like me, doncha” seductively.

10.) The first rule of Micro-Aggression Fight Club is always obliquely allude to Micro-Aggression Fight Club.

11.) The Incredible Hulk: Don’t Let Him Be Made By Ang Lee, You Wouldn’t Like Him When He’s Made By Ang Lee.

12.) If you put a zombie in a Schrodinger’s Cat box, it is simultaneously undead and the square root of negative undead.

13.) If you die in The Matrix, you get two terrible sequels in the real world.

14.) Today, I realized that Bob Dylan’s “Lay Lady Lay” and Elliott Smith’s “Happiness” are almost the exact same song.

15.) Schrodinger’s Litter Box: that clump is simultaneously a turd and just a wad of clay.