ma24 in idea barrages

1.) Your hair insurance won’t cover a two-in-one shampoo, you have a pre-existing conditioner.

2.) If you get off on a pirate whispering to you, that’s ASMArrrrrrrr.

3.) Your musical about Chewbacca wooing his future wife will be called MALA MIA! It will be bad but it won’t be, like, prequel bad.

4.) Aside from the obvious Committee on Cultural Appropriations, Hipster Congress also has the Committee on Ways & Memes.

5.) It’d be pretty great if to combat the success of Pepperidge Farm Goldfish, Keebler would come out with Club Seals.

6.) If your car has a problem with drinking, your best bet is to contact AAAAA.

7.) The dog hogs the footstool, constantly committing grand theft ottoman.

8.) Yeah, some of us have a case of the s’posetas but that’s still better than a raging case of gonna-rhea.

9.) The technical term for those plastic necklaces you throw at tourists for Mardi Gras is “banal beads”.

10.) Using your solar powered cooker demands that you start singing “I’M WOK-IN’ ON SUNSHINE, WHHHHHOOOOOOA”.

11.) The submissive sheep was a real mutton for punishment.

12.) When cooking with a fire pit, constantly refer to it as a “macrowave”.

13.) Good is better than perfect because good can grow, good can change, good can adapt. Perfect is frozen in its own perfection and will, invariably, ossify into its own kind of evil when it can’t understand what has changed since it reached a state of perfection. Be good instead.

14.) All things in our culture happen three times, once as tragedy, twice as farce and then the third time as a scammy free-to-play pay-to-win mobile game.