apr29 in idea barrages

1.) It’s not about how good you are at the beginning, in baseball or in life. They’re going to make adjustments to cancel out your strengths once they get a closer look at you. If and how you’re able to adjust to their adjustments, that’s what determines what you’ll be able to do.

2.) When someone is taking more than their share of the communal marijuana, the proper insult is to call them “Chronic, The Hemp Hog”.

3.) Half the trick of doing art is failing at every other possible thing, backing yourself so far into a corner of unhireability that you have to pour your whole life into art, whether you like it or not. Then, after that, hoping you also get lucky enough to survive.

4.) There is of course the LESS known Greek literary device “deuce ex machina” or “poop in a machine”.

5.) Do Mormons call their fundamentalist underwear “fundies”?

6.) I hate the phrase “expect the unexpected” just because it’s literally impossible to do. I hate it at least 110%.

7.) I hope that Scandinavian smut is referred to as “bjornography” or “bjorno”.

8.) I want a show called “The Adventures of Keith And Keith” starring Keith Olbermann and Keith Hernandez. Maybe they solve mysteries? Maybe they write a love advice column and go out into the world to help lonely hearts.