apr27 in idea barrages

1.) Dear Richard Spencer lookin’ douchebag race-car driver in the Honda ad on SNY, if you have to tell us you’re a “famous race-car driver”, you aren’t a famous race-car driver. Oh, you may well race cars but that is as far as it goes.

2.) Writing the songs that make the whole world happy, I dunno, there’s a place for it but there’s already too much of that. Write the songs that bum people out so much that they’ll be more humane toward each other, that sounds like something we need more of.

3.) Walking the dog, snoofing around, he got his leash caught up in some twigs. I stood there, seeing if he was smart enough to figure out the solution: to just back out how he came. He didn’t do that, he pushed & pushed until the twigs snapped and he moved on. This dog is a Cecconi.

4.) I like to believe that “Todd” is just short for the full Christian name “Toddney”.

5.) No, Microsoft, in the entire history of your computers, no one has ever wanted to send an error report. We just want our stuff to work.

6.) Wait, considering she’s from Japan, is “Hello” her family name and “Kitty” her given name?

7.) If someone from up here says they’re from “upstate NY” they’re subtly insulting you, like “oh you’re an ignorant person who thinks the Bronx is upstate, I’ll speak your baby language to you”. It’s equivalent to a Southerner telling you “well, bless your heart”.

8.) All the good Jack Buck did for broadcasting is undone and maybe more by siring Joe Buck.