apr7 in idea barrages

1.) Often, the song I will sing to Felix and Ollie is to the tune of the Cheat Commandos theme in the “Homestarrunner” cartoon and it’s just “Good CAT and ADEQUATE Dog! Good CAT and ADEQUATE Dog!” over and over again.

2.) “Struggling artist” is technically correct but, like, maybe the emphasis is wrong. “Artsy struggler”. Maybe you are actually an artsy struggler. Maybe that gets the focus better.

3.) I don’t know who Cardi B is but I see the name a lot? Is she a rapper? A singer? An instagram “influencer”? Anyway, I’m just saying, that’s a much better name for a drug that promotes pulmonary health than a pop star. “Ask your doctor if Cardi-B is right for you.”

4.) At this point I can only assume that if an online personality HASN’T cut ties with Channel Awesome, between how morally repugnant their actions are & pragmatically how toxic their brand is/how little aggregation means these days, CA must have kompromat on them.

5.) Everybody talks about how played out the “trapped together in an elevator/basement/fridge” cliche is in sitcoms, nobody talks about how awful and exhausted “the prank war” episode is. It should’ve been banned after MASH wrung the last few drops out of it in, like, 1982.

6.) You have no idea how long I thought “quid” meant “five pounds” and “pound” just meant “one pound”. I suppose it’d be the same thing for a non-American assuming “buck” “dollar” and “cash” might mean different things out of context but damn.

7.) If you need to deafen your enemies from afar through magic, just blow into your voodoozela.

8.) The on-the-sly worst part of our current political mess is that the far right (and especially Putin) has realized that encouraging vain Useful Idiots on the far left like Nader & Stein to splinter the opposition is far more effective in seizing power than supporting their own.

9.) I love how really bad kids’ films will always give the entire plot to the movie out in the opening credits songs. It is, like, deliciously lazy.

10.) What many shortsightedly don’t get or greedily pretend not to get is that public infrastructure IS civilization. It’s not some people having a lot of knowledge or stuff, it’s shared commonwealth allowing us to trade & acclimate to difference. Ask ancient Rome. Ask Iraq right now.

11.) I love it when prepper-psychos on youtube refer to a “shank for stabbing the hell out of some person you’re irrationally afraid of” as a “force multiplier”. We let these goddamn weirdos off when they use bigger words and it’s so much of our problem these days.

12.) Gotta love the whole right wing “my right to carry a rocket launcher into the 711 is inviolable!” thing when the same people are stealing an entire underclass’s right to vote by disenfranchising them as non-voting-felons for possessing a joint.

13.) Maybe, Walmart, if you’d pay your employees a living wage and proper benefits, you wouldn’t have to be involved in charity drives.

14.) Maybe loving each other and caring for each other matters more than arbitrary law or arbitrary borders or fleeting possessions or your own personal sense of power. Have you even considered if you might be wrong? Have you ever tried for just a moment letting go?

15.) When your Galaxy Brain meme has Brain from Inspector Gadget having Galaxy Brain, you have truly achieved Galaxy Brain yourself.

16.) They say that spring is coming but they’ve been saying it for months, they said that it got here three weeks ago, it might not get here ‘til June, they say that spring is coming but spring must be into tantra, I look out at the snow and think “spring isn’t coming anytime soon”.