apr5 in idea barrages

1.) Your Rage Against The Machine cover band that reinterprets them all as James Taylor-esque soft rock will be called Beige Against The Machine. It will be… terrible.

2.) Your movie about a possessed snowplow that terrorizes Syracuse will be called CHILLDOZER. It will be astonishingly terrible.

3.) “How’s the see-saw factory treating you, Carl?” “Has its ups and downs.”

4.) SKETCH COMEDY OPINIONS: “Sausages” was the greatest Kids In The Hall skit. “Monks Versus Rich Kids Summer Camp Olympics” was the greatest Mr. Show skit. “Porcupine Racetrack” was the greatest The State skit. “The Haters Time Travel And Murder A Slaveowner” was the greatest Chapelle Show skit. What is the thread here? It was all instances where the creative team leaned into their weirdest creative impulses and just tried to see how much they could get away with. And they were. Glorious.

5.) Pour flour in your gas tank. When your car won’t run, sue the flour company. “IT CLEARLY SAID ALL-PURPOSE.”

6.) “They bought that we were actually eating laundry detergent. Local news broadcasts are so cluelessly trend-chasing and under-researched that they really believed it. How can we be more obvious that we’re making it up to mess with them?” “Condom… snorting?”

7.) The old man yells at the Swamp Thing “get off my lawn!” The Swamp Thing is offended and retorts “sir, I barely even KNOW your lawn, at least let me take it out to dinner first!”

8.) Nightmares where all the different phases of my life are mashed-up, intermingling, interacting, disastrously.