apr2 (my 2,501st post on PB) in idea barrages

1.) As my mind is strewn with garbage, I often wonder about Mork. Living in late ‘70s Denver, did he ever go check what happened to the ‘50s Milwaukee Happy Days gang? He never mentioned it, it must’ve been bad news. Did they all die in ‘Nam? Did Fonz wipe out in a gory bike wreck?

2.) Always love it when the super-villains are genuinely friends with each other. Not back-stabbing and, even though they’re monsters, truly fond of each other. It makes them more complex characters and nukes the cheap “hero wins through villain in-fighting” plots.

3.) If you’re not selling baked goods with predictions in them shaped to look like turds called FORTUNE DOOKIES, you have overestimated the maturity of the American consumer.

4.) If you’re making a romantic-comedy version of, like, INNER SPACE or FANTASTIC VOYAGE, where proving your love somehow involves shrinking down and entering their bloodstream, “HE’S NOT THAT INTO YOU” is the only acceptable title.

5.) A Transformer that changes from a robot into a male escort called Payload.

6.) Frank Stallone and Ted Nugent feel like they can insult children who watched their friends murdered only because Frank Stallone and Ted Nugent no longer have careers for anyone to boycott.

7.) Your youtube food-tasting channel will be called EVERYBODY LOVES RAMEN.

8.) A Superman story where he saves thousands and thousands of lives not by punching out space monsters, just by crushing coal in diamonds a whole lot of times, flooding the market and ruining the profitability of the blood-diamond trade.

9.) my heart is a magpie
lining its nest
with all the shiny rocks
ebony eyes cannot allow lost
chitinous beak can come across
caw
caw

10.) The Office really missed out on the obvious HAMBURGER HALPERT tie-in product.

11.) An Elvis parody about suspicious mimes?

12.) If Starbucks doesn’t tie into the new “Cobra Kai” Karate Kid spin-off series with a Ralph Macchiato, they don’t know what the hell they’re doing.

13.) A Mesopotamian epic translated to future Japan called GILGA-MECHS.

14.) I feel like we could turn the whole national mood around if, just once more before he died, Harrison Ford would play a gregarious energetic jerk-with-a-heart-of-gold again instead of a tired bitter exhausted old man who just wants the release of either sleep or death. JUST ONCE.

15.) Your musical about the persecution, betrayal, death and rebirth of a telepathic supervillain ape will of course be called GRODDSPELL.

16.) What if pineapples are eggs laid by the most unfortunate breed of birds ever?

17.) A flowchart of ICE ICE BABY. You have a problem? If yes -> yo, I’ll solve it -> Ice Ice Baby. If no -> check out the beat while the DJ revolves it -> Ice Ice Baby.

18.) “DEAD OR ALIVE, YOU’RE GIVING ME BEANS” would be a great catchphrase for Hobocop.