mar23 in idea barrages

1.) Sometimes I look at the infomerical “star” Chef Tony and wonder if he is the product of a failed attempt at cloning Jesse “The Body” Ventura, rendering the clone much nicer but just as crazy and cartoonishly flabbier.

2.) All I know is that when I finally make my satirical send-off of THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST, I’m calling the damn thing NAILED IT.

3.) Your emo chiptune band will be called DOKI DOKI PANIC! AT THE DISCO. I hope this doesn’t bother you, it will be legally enforced.

4.) Dear media, when the demagogues say you have a “liberal bias”, they don’t mean it, they’re just trying to bully you into having a fascist bias. Wise the hell up, the Fox News demographic only buys silver ingots, fake medicine & MREs. All your other advertisers sell to the saner.

5.) The most popular ride at Nihilist Disneyland is the Nothingmattershorn.

6.) The moment people notice that Syracuse starts playing up to their potential is the moment they choke. It is Cuse law.

7.) At Discordian Motors, the most popular car is the Fnord Fnarlane.

8.) If you must have an ideology, let humanity be your ideology. If you must have a job, let humanity be your job. If you must have a religion, let humanity be your faith.