mar22 in idea barrages

1.) If someone named Suzanne started a gluten-free bakery, it could be “Sue’s Pseudo-Dough” and Phil Collins would have to write its jingle.

2.) I’m sorry your parents were murdered after a screening of Zorro but sometimes you just have to make the best of a bat situation.

3.) I’m pretty sure I haven’t written that parody of “Mr. Tambourine Man” about Jeffery Tambor yet but, really, who knows at this point?

4.) I’m sure that equestrian announcers spend their entire careers waiting for illegitimate nobility to join their sport so they can yell “DISCOUNT VISCOUNT LANDS THE DISMOUNT!”

5.) Look, I love professional wrestling, but if you have to be “medically cleared” to return to professional wrestling? You SHOULDN’T RETURN TO PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING.

6.) Re-make the intro to HE-MAN to be about Gary Oldman. “Old-MAN, dun dun d-DUN d-d-dun, Old-MAN”.

7.) I always confuse the Asian language “Tagalog” with the Girl Scout cookie “Tagalongs” but even I will admit, it would be a hell of a stretch to forge a pun on that.

8.) The Walking Dead should have a spin-off in Santa Monica called The Jogging Dead and you damned well know it.

9.) Let’s open a Museum of Super-Natural History.