mar17 in idea barrages

1.) I still say you could’ve cleaned up with a Scotland-themed tag-team of wrestlers called Natural Born Kilters.

2.) The rabbit hoped it could hide down in that hole forever but it was living on burrowed time.

3.) He claimed that he could have any wizened crone he wanted through the miracle of dating apps but it was pretty clear he was just bumble-hagging.

4.) If you don’t render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s, you’ll probably get a dressing down.

5.) Whenever that terrible vulture-capitalist firm Bain Capital (their debt-riddled leverage buyout killed Toys R Us, for example, not online shopping) gets mentioned in the news, I imagine the words in the Tom Hardy BANE VOICE from that Batman movie. I hope you do too.

6.) Ignore that e-mail from the Sasquatch begging your help with an inheritance problem, that’s just the phishing link.

7.) In retrospect, getting your political reportage from a website where the business model was re-sharing 50,000 variations on “Give Us Ten Personal Facts We Can Use To Social-Engineer Our Way Into Your Bank Account & We’ll Tell You Which Ninja Turtle You Are” wasn’t the best idea.

8.) I really hope that NSYNC’s best-of album was called NRETROSPEC.