mar11 in idea barrages

1.) I want a David Lynch cookbook called “Fire Wok With Me”.

2.) How did it take me thirty-eight years to realize “Roadhouse Blues” and “Truckin” were the exact same song?

3.) If you don’t have a couple of those old McDonalds Garfield glass mugs that have been sitting there for four years untouched, do you even count as a junk shop, antique store or thrift shop? It should be legally required.

4.) The fake president’s Military Distraction Parade occurring on November 11 would just be an extension of the horrifying way Armistice Day/Veterans Day has been twisted from a celebration of the veterans sacrificed into a celebration of war.

5.) To anyone saying “well, the fake president is trying to make peace with North Korea, at least support him when he’s trying to do something good” I say… the goddamn idiot can’t even manage to get paying off a mistress right, he’ll botch this too.

6.) Mr. T live-tweeting the Paralympics doesn’t fix how messed up our country has gotten but damn if it doesn’t put a smile on my face anyway.

7.) After shaving a two-week sadness beard, all the sudden I look ten years younger than I am instead of ten years older than I am. That poor poor stubble wrecked tub, though.

8.) For all the things that are ghoulish and terrible about that “LivePD” thing on A&E, beyond all the obvious things, is how they have a goddamn football-halftime-style team of analysts. So. Damn. Tacky.