fe16 in idea barrages

1.) Say whatcha will about spending 25 years suppressing my anger into sadness so that I wasn’t overwhelmed with rage, yeah yeah, we could write books about the few pros and many cons of my ad-hoc emotional coping mechanisms… but I will say, when the devastating drowning burning soul-crushing grief came down, it was like I had spent two anna half decades crunched down into a fearful readied flinch and it’s maybe the only reason I didn’t completely lose my goddamned mind in that moment of loss and pain. Even if they are flawed tools, we use the tools we got, we use them as best we can when we have to, say whatcha will.

2.) Control is an illusion. If you focus on meaningless minutiae to forge an illusion of control, no matter how many insignificant details you drive yourself mad to have on lock, two more piffles rise up to make you feel even worse. The illusion of control is an addiction. Let go.

3.) Your Ginsberg-influenced poem about the difficulties being a werewolf will be called GROWL.

4.) There are two types of people in the world: people who laugh when you sing “Let The Circle Be Unbroken” as “What’s that purple stuff you’re smokin’? Gettin’ high, yo, gettin’ high?” and… people who take life too seriously.

5.) I understand why some enjoy the idea of a tax cut but you have to understand that every major tax cut in American history has not been about “freeing” people economically. They’re about transferring money from the poor and the public commons to the richest of the rich only.

6.) Yes, my Olympic figure skating music would be “No Sleep Til Brooklyn”. No, it is actually the best choice.

7.) Judging a society by the largess of its rich tells you nothing about that society. Judge it by how much it works to comfort the suffering of the poor.

8.) I went to Ozzy’s first No More Tours tour when I was 13 or 14. Now he is having a second No More Tours tour. I am now 38.

9.) Before he was Jack White, he died in battle with a dragon back when he was known as Jack Gray.

10.) When you build your entire business model around abusing your workers through chemical exposure and soaking the local governments for tax breaks with empty threats of moving south, riling up the rednecks with weird lies about The Safe Act to get it done, that model’s gonna collapse eventually. Happy bankruptcy, Remington.

11.) The only explanation for this dog’s breath is a diet of straight rotten skunk anuses but we are nowhere near rich enough to buy that many rotten skunk anuses.

12.) I mean, sure, if you’re lawyered up, by all means call your French bistro “Heard It Through The Crepe-Vine”.

13.) Bad news is, the pain probably never gets less. Good news is, over time you can get stronger and take it with more grace. It’s not that it goes away, it’s that you evolve.

14.) Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves, would later grow up to be Burglar King.

15.) Some day, after the collapse of society and fumbling through broken records of our times, they will think our thrift stores were called “Grishams”.

16.) The crypto-sexists on the fringe far left will vote for a woman all day long, provided she can’t win, like Russia Today awardee Jill Stein, but the moment the woman can actually win… DID actually win… all the sudden, they listen to the Alex Jones tin-hat theories…

17.) The German word for the disappointment one feels when “Come Together” starts on the radio and you realize it is the Aerosmith version and not the Beatles version is called “Tylerhoffzen”.

18.) Today, Valentines 2018, the one person who uses Microsoft Edge as their browser and the one person who uses Google Plus as their social network met and fell in love. Their child will be the worst at computers ever.

19.) Making the desiccant pack the only thing toothpick-like in your pouch of beef jerky seems like an accident waiting to happen, Matador.

20.) There’s a place in my head where teevee shows I’ve never seen but am dimly aware of sit together & mutate into one eldritch horror together. I think there are shows called “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” “Jane The Virgin” and “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend”, all blended into one horror.

21.) Ollie is a bad dog but he’s also the best dog. Things are like that, sometimes.

22.) The nightmares where I’m in a movie about reality breaking down and then it breaks down so bad that I’m on the set as an actor but the infection pervades into the real world and real reality starts breaking down have returned. It’s not pleasant.

23.) The dream about what I imagine the series “Gotham” to be about taking a 180 and Batman comics being a thing in that universe and it’s all a conspiracy by Shadowy Folks to make real-world versions of the characters, that was weird too.

24.) If someone’s house exploded across town but you just assume the sound was ice falling off your roof, you MIGHT be from the tundra that is Central New York.

25.) How cell, internet and cable can go down for nearly 12 hours because of one house fire across town either suggests something being hideously hush-hushed or a completely borked infrastructure. Or both!

26.) I wonder how many aging stoners just put bongwater into the humidifier wells of their CPAPs.

27.) When they ban Chap-Stick from airports, they’re gonna start training balm-sniffing dogs.

28.) I always hoped that someday Destro would have a good twin who joined G.I. Joe under the code-name Searc. I dunno. I’m weird.

29.) If you can only know sexual pleasure with the help of a marital aid, are you on pubic assistance?

30.) I have discussed that paperwork stuff is a trigger for my anxiety problems, yeah? Man, updating my health insurance stuff while in a sea of grief was even harder but I got through it. It is… weird but admitting it helps.

31.) When people rightly mention that the mentally unstable shouldn’t have access to weapons of war, we don’t even know if we’re talking about School Shooting 9.956 or if we’re talking about the fake President’s parade. God help us all.

32.) There’s no sane reason for a civilian to own an AR-15 so of course These Bastards don’t want mental health checks on weapons sales. They wanna keep selling their murder buttons and keep making money, deaths be damned.

33.) Holler if your music randomizer is still the jumble of CDs in the backseat of your car.