fe11 in idea barrages

1.) I’ll let the dog think he protected me from that snowplow he barked at for five minutes. “Oh yeah, Ollie, you totally scared off the monster.”

2.) Y’know, maybe it’s just me but I’ve lost my taste for dystopian fiction now that I’m living in one. It’s like at the end of Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure: “I don’t need to watch it, Dottie, I lived it.”

3.) I might SAY kombucha is the grossest thing in the world, just to needle my more new-agey friends, but I’m just joshin’ with them. Everyone knows Clamato is the grossest thing.

4.) You can’t just write for yourself and you can’t just write for other people, either. You gotta write about the things inside you that other people feel too but believe they are alone in feeling. That connection, that confirmation… that salutation… that’s writing.

5.) Every time I see a tweet that says something is happening at [fake corporate name for the Utica Auditorium] I like to enthusiastically reply “That sounds great, I’d love to do that at the Aud!” Because Orwellian corporate re-namings can go pound sand.

6.) You let the KGB install a man who’ll brag about his sexual assaults on a hot mic instead of a capable accomplished woman your sublimated sexism lets you believe Alex Jones conspiracy theories about, this is what you get. This is the fall-out of all the goddamn Green Party votes.

7.) Meaning isn’t a pre-existing condition. My dad taught me that. It is very easy to lose yourself in the randomness and the cruelness of the universe. But that doesn’t mean life is meaningless, it just means you have to take what you’ve got and forge meaning for yourself. I try to.

8.) Frankenstein was built to play folk, you can wire his harmonica rig straight into his bolts, he’s Folkenstein, he’s Folkenstein.

9.) I ain’t need to take no facebook poll to know what I’d look like as a woman. It’d be the same I look as a dude: hot but like fat hot.

10.) An Olympics solely for artificial intelligences would be called “Battle Of The Networked Stars”.