xmas in idea barrages

1.) After 50 years, your homemade pornography loses its copyright and lapses into the pubic domain.

2.) Your recursive film about culture hacking and remixing will be called GRETA, GARBLED.

3.) Anaphylactic Shark will be the title of the final Sharknado Sequel.

4.) Apropos of nothing, it is weird to have a beard again. Often when I’m out west with my brother, I don’t shave the whole time. Is a Bearded Mike more handsome than a Usual Mike? Anyway. Temporarily beardy right now.

5.) Shedding his repression along with his greed. in his ensuing years Scrooge was able to embrace his butt-fetish along with his inner charity and for the rest of his days, the children in the streets would repeat his jolly catchphrase “AH! BUM-HUG!”

6.) You know what’s a bracing realization? You see a picture of someone you know on facebook, she’s with her boyfriend or whatever and you think to yourself “what’s this woman MY AGE doing, dating some old dude?” then I realize… that old guy is like fiiiiiive years older than I am.

7.) No matter how much you like his work, you must admit, nothing Quentin Tarantino has ever worn has been cool. Have you seen some of the hats that dude has tried to get away with? Good. Heavens.

8.) If anyone gives you “merry christmas” be like “erotic greetings!” and they’ll be all “what?” and you’ll be all like “I said, seasons greetings, what are you some kind of racist?” and pretty soon they’ll just give you money for ending the conversation. And then hey, free money.