x eve in idea barrages

1.) We’re not PA-RUMP-A-PUM-PUMPED about anything, Television Commercial. You played your hand too far. It’s 2017, ain’t nobody pumped about anything .We are SA-RUMP-A-SUM-SURVIVING at best.

2.) Did Imagine Dragons name themselves so as to command everyone to actually imagine dragons, whenever we see that name? Is that the whole scheme?

3.) As a person of partially Eastern European extraction I am allowed to say that Jon’s supermarkets in L.A. should be legally considered embassies to Eastern Europe, like, sovereign land.

4.) I’m tall enough where I know if I’m going out into public, I’m gonna have someone ask me “how tall are you?” but not tall enough where I can just charge people two bits a gander to behold me. It’s a rough in-between.

5.) There is nowhere you can go to see a bunch of people with great bodies and tired beaten-down looks on their faces and you’ll see more of them than a Goodwill in the San Fernando Valley.

6.) It must be TERRIBLE to really really like the wings at Hooters but hate the sexual objectification. Like, you are just doomed to love that particular hot sauce and there you are, in the Boobieroom, eating your damn hot wings.

7.) Don’t say “Bob’s your uncle!” even if you wanna pretend you’re British. Someone around you might have a dead uncle Bob and he’ll start crying and it’ll all be your fault. Be respectful. Too soon.

8.) It’s not about how hard you did or did not work at it. It’s not about how much money you made, it’s not about how many people see it, it’s about whether you put your truth out there or not. Put it out there. The rest will come or it won’t and it’s okay either way.

9.) Telling peoples’ futures by reading the names of their pending facebook friends that they’ll never approve because they’re not real people, they’re bots. Just analyze their bot names. Makes as much sense as tea leaves.

10.) Any sitcom where the story turns on the timing of when dinner needs to come out is said to involve a “plot roast”.