dxxiii in idea barrages

1.) The way duck skin crisps up all brown is the Mallard Reaction.

2.) You get you an Elvira in the streets, Elvira in the sheets, kinda gal.

3.) If you got in on BitCoin really early, I say to you “well done”. If you got in on BitCoin relatively recently, may God have mercy on your soul. The thing about pyramid schemes is, yeah, if you get in at the beginning, you can make your money. But you better be early.

4.) If you don’t understand Trump turning the presidential challenge coin into an ad for Trump’s merchandising is literal fascism, a personality cult subsuming the state, read up on how Hitler got a royalty on every Hitler stamp. If you deny this is fascism, you just like fascism.

5.) You are not perfect. You are far from perfect. You are riddled with strengths and flaws. Here’s the secret: you are wonderful, you are amazing, you are complex, you are complicated. Being wonderful is so much better than being perfect and you are wonderful.

6.) See, me, I revel in being born in the Carter Administration. “All that Reagan crap? Trickle down crap? Iran-Contra? Not me, I was born when Ol’ Peanut Bill was in charge. Go pin that on a Gen Xer, baby, I’m innocent.”

7.) Your organic cruelty-free single-origin small-batch nipple-oil for nudists with sensitive skin will be called Airyola.

8.) It’s a reality show about figuring out who is the world’s champion at avoiding responsibility. It’s called SHIRK TANK. I’d be in the competition but I’m too good, it wouldn’t be fair. I’ll have to host instead.