dx in idea barrages

1.) Curdle the milk of this spoiled society into a nourishing yogurt by inoculating it with active counter-cultures.

2.) I am indifferent to how my clothes fit, I am nonplussedsized.

3.) Whether we’ve had bad breath since we were apes or only evolved it as humans was the central question of the Scope Monkey Trial.

4.) If you cross the world’s greatest proctologist, understand that you’ll have just made yourself a very power enema.

5.) A parody of “Soul Man” about a snow man?

6.) Really, if you think about it, Caprisun pouches were just a really sly training for how frustrating our first time having sex would be.

7.) Can happily report I tied for 2nd at the Utica Brews comedy final tonight! Tied with fellow Newhouse & L.A. survivor Will Phillips and human ball of lightning Larry O’Grady in first. Thanks to Phil Canarelli and all involved for the great shows!

8.) Congratulations to LAWeekly on being absorbed by Orange County crypto-fascist tech-douches and becoming “Los Angeles Weekly of Anaheim”. Congratulations and screw the hell off.