n17 in idea barrages

1.) If you were wondering what the worst dialogue writing in modern film history looked like, you’re in luck, TITANIC is returning to theatres for a week.

2.) The Confederacy making its last stand by supporting a child molester for the Senate because they like how racist he is, yeah, it scans.

3.) Are Lenten fish fries “Fast food”?

4.) If you say “I love you” and someone replies “I love you more!” quickly yell “THIS IS NOT A COMPETITION, JANET!” even if their name isn’t Janet. Especially if their name isn’t Janet.

5.) Oh, toothbrush package. “Advanced Plaque Removal” would be if you teleported the plaque off my teeth. You contain slightly oddly shaped toothbrushes. Quit puttin’ on airs.

6.) There is nothing more lonely to me than a clean house. Tightly organized uncluttered spaces seem dead and empty to me. Mournful. This is probably just a me thing.

7.) the thing’s the play: the shakespearean tragedy of ben grimm

8.) If you don’t name your marijuana delivery service DUBER, why are you even starting one?

9.) Two things I heard of for the first time today: a country singer named Blake Shelton & a Latin pop song called Despacio. The latter seems a lot cooler than the former but either way, the point is, that’s how out of touch I am.

10.) The flagship of my Shakespearean barbecue product line will be called “Aye, There’s The Rub.”