n7 in idea barrages

1.) I try to not judge humanity on the actions of the worst of us, let alone the clearly untreated ill, but when my friends are disrespected I just feel… angry and helpless.

2.) The wrestling hotel comes with a free intercontinental breakfast, today’s special: The Honky Tonk Slam.

3.) Calling your Greek-Mexican fusion restaurant “Gyros On The Half-Shell” will just get you sued by the Ninja Turtle people.

4.) The most powerful of housecats is the ace of spayeds.

5.) If he leaves you for a stuffed animal pony, you’ve been brone-zoned.

6.) An Ithaca Is Gorges shirt but with vultures gorging on the remains of something nasty, just to flip the pun around a third time.

7.) Remember, if you’re killed by a white man w/ a gun, no action will be taken. They’ll mutter toward a god they don’t believe in & move on.

8.) This time, I dreamt that I could sing wonderfully. Not just loud or funny, as I can, but beautifully. But I was also trapped in an airport after a cancelled flight with no way home, probably trapped in that limbo forever. Because it was one of my dreams.

9.) Seed your life with puns for down the road, like a chipmunk with acorns. Name your car Hard Bargain, enjoy the fruits of that later.

10.) The world does not have to be nearly so scary as long as we work together for common goods instead of selfish ones. That’s all it takes.

11.) Name your touring theatre group Hams Across America.

12.) By Republican logic, of course, maybe we should shut down all the churches “until we figure out what’s going on there”.

13.) One year ago, some nerd made a deal with the deal to get a Spider-Man/Wolverine movie at the cost of the Trump junta seizing Washington.

14.) Am I getting romantically wistful because it’s the autumn or because there’s so much horror on micro and macro levels right now out there that my mind is just trying to distract me? Either way, it’s not a good look on me, I know.

15.) GREASE, the universally beloved musical about a pregnancy scare where the moral is to change everything about yourself to keep your partner.

16.) The only way to stop a madman with a gun is for him to never get a gun.

17.) Using your vote to make a monster lose is often more important than throwing it at a saint who can’t win. Pragmatism can save the world.