o17 in idea barrages

1.) “Amazon Fire Stick” sounds less like a way to watch videos and more like a particularly gruesome venereal disease.

2.) Your deconstruction of fan fiction will be called “Rosencrantz/Guildenstern”.

3.) Murdered by the Inhuman Medusa, it was declared follicular homicide.

4.) Just because A Thing has a legitimate use for a small subset of people doesn’t mean that it’s not still a dumb fad for everyone else.

5.) Pretending to confuse Inspector Clouseau and Jacques Cousteau is a rarely-applicable but fun way to mess with someone.

6.) We all just wanna be adored. By whom, for what reason and how successful we are at it, these are the points of difference.

7.) “Not inhaling a pound bag of oyster crackers” doesn’t sound like a big accomplishment but, brother, tonight it is.

8.) The less said about the nightmare where I battled and lost to an eldritch abomination that lived in the Liberty Bell and could reverse time and undo any damage you did to it, the better, I think.

9.) Did Chairman Meow ever meet Fidel Catstro?

10.) Some say the tachyon is imaginary but I say it’s just a matter of time.

11.) Hate crimes against the gluten-free are often committed by breadnecks.

12.) Yogi is faced with the dilemma of knowing his testimony at the murder trial would prove his pic-a-nic basket thefts in BEAR WITNESS.

13.) Spoilers for THE SCRYING GAME: his lover turns out to be a witch.

14.) Maybe the friends we made on Halloween were the real curse of Michael Myers all along.