o12 in idea barrages

1.) I confuse Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out and Sixth Avenue Heartache on a pretty consistent basis.

2.) As long as we hide the sins of the powerful, the cruel will do anything to get to that place & those who’d use power wisely will languish.

3.) I got used to drawing blood for the glucometer in 3 days but almost 20 years later, calling the student loan people? Total meltdown. Light-headedness. Burning skin. Purple around the edges of my vision. Shortness of breath. Blood sugar spike of 40 points. I am not designed for this kind of thing. Last two times I got drunk were the last two times I submitted a resume.

4.) Why isn’t there a bumper sticker, in the style of that Calvin sticker, of a hooker peeing on the illegitimate president?

5.) Take the title for any Harry Potter story, replace “Harry Potter” with “Scarface” and it still works. “Scarface And The Sorcerer’s Stone”.

6.) You see, greater Utica, we just misunderstood the politicians. We heard “Nano jobs!” when they said “nah, no jobs!”

7.) Furthermore, they missed a trick when they called Harry Potter filk “wizard rock” when they could’ve called it “Dumblecore”.

8.) Your 50,000th tweet is a badge of honour in the same way a cracked skull is for smashing your face repeatedly into a brickwall.