o14 in idea barrages

1.) How I never wrote a parody of “Cumbersome” about cummerbunds is beyond me too.

2.) In comics, has there been a really mellow viking with freezing powers called Chillaxe yet?

3.) Upon meeting someone new, say “explain to me the virtues of pork fat” in a vaguely Eastern European accent. It’s a good ice breaker.

4.) It always bugged me that junior high sports were called “modified (the sport)” because “modified football” should involve cyborg parts.

5.) Universal health care’s only the start. I want multiversal health care where you merge my consciousness into a world where I never got sick.

6.) In this nightmare, I was unmoored in time and space, trying to get back home without creating a butterfly paradox that would undo myself and all reality. Lying as low as I could while still being alive and making progress. It was… weird.

7.) Everything you can’t live without propelling over the walls of a castle go on your trebuchet list.

8.) If Star Wars came out today, they’d never’ve claimed Mos Eisley was the apex of scum & villainy because we know The Comments exist.

9.) I never claimed to have my finger on the pulse but whenever I see a band I’ve never heard of announce a farewell tour, I’m puzzled as hell.

10.) If you voted for Trump after he bragged about his many sexual assaults into a live mic, you don’t get to say anything about anything.

11.) If you suddenly love executive orders when it’s a white guy using them to steal poor people’s health care, you’re incoherent scum.

12.) If you want to say something is false but want to be polite follow the statement with “as some ancient astronaut theorists contend”.