o1 in idea barrages

1.) No one refers to their disease as “moderate to severe” outside of commercials. Maybe moderate OR severe but never both.

2.) I listen to the late-night paranormal radio shows and think “Ah the assuredness of the mad.”

3.) We haven’t remade Dirty Dancing with Glenn Danzig as DIRTY DANZIG and I think we’re all to blame for the omission.

4.) In my nightmares now, I eat a bunch of vanilla pudding then I realize I’m not supposed to have sugar anymore. What a life.

5.) At your molecular gastronomy restaurant Quantum Greek, the featured dessert will be Scott Baklava.

6.) When in doubt, stomp as you walk. People will mistake you for knowing what you should be doing, even though no one ever has known.

7.) It’s a Millenial version of SORRY called PROBLEM. You roll the dice and then you hit the Problematic Bubble. It’s… pretty terrible.

8.) Vlogging Nietzsche says Pod Is Dead.

9.) Maybe douches would be more socially acceptable if we called them “private jets”.

10.) If you have the WWF Intercontinental Title and the hotel offers you a continental breakfast, you put the clerk straight through that table.

11.) Science continues to struggle to create a face more punchable than Tim Allen’s.

12.) Tuckin’, got your bits pushed back, tuckin’, up into a gaff, tuckin’, gotta hide that schlong, just keep tuckin’ alllllllll night long…