a13 in idea barrages

1.) What a mess I’d be if I wasn’t afraid, what a mess I am because I am.

2.) Maybe telling someone to go screw himself will lead him to coming into his own.

3.) A movie about Tweety’s endless torture of Sylvester The Cat called “Taw”.

4.) Dear Mr. Spielberg, no, maybe you should’ve kept making Nazis the enemy in your films. Some assholes need reminding, it seems.

5.) More and more, I’m starting to realize that ending Reconstruction 60 years too early was the biggest mistake in American history.

6.) Carve a ham into the shape of Pikachu and call it “Porkymon” before the bombs fall or the Nazis burn your town square down.

7.) TWITTER RULE: if anyone says “what if I told you” the following sentence will be a lie attempting to prop up a conspiracy theory.

8.) I want to write a parody of Dylan’s “Mississippi” about Putin holding onto the piss tape way too long but it’s like 8000 words.

9.) If you were born on my twentieth birthday, you just graduated high school.