a9 in idea barrages

1.) Sarahah’s a great simulation of being famous in that everything you read will either be meaningless empty praise or non-constructive venom.

2.) My bucket list is just things I’d wanna eat a bucket of in one sitting. Cheddarcorn, Twizzlers, CaramelCreams. Insulin after those, prolly.

3.) The strongest marijuana ever was smoked by the people who pitched a Punky Brewster cartoon with a stranded trans-dimensional leprechaun.

4.) “I just want the right to harass people without being harassed for it myself” is the insane position, like, 83% of Twitter clings to.

5.) Yes I chat with the dog on the nature of free will. His programmed set of reactions are slightly less complex than mine, he has perspective.

6.) The key to seeing through politics is to ignore what’s exciting or reinforces your personal narrative and focus on what does the most good.

7.) If you’re opening an Asian-fusion-cuisine restaurant in Ohio and it isn’t called “Cleveland Woks!” I dunno what to tell you.

8.) In my heart, I wanted The Headless Horseman to be a headless horse-creature, not a dumb ol’ normal headless guy RIDING a horse.

9.) Christopher Robin’s time with Pooh stuck to him through the years, even naming his teenage punk band “Honey-Roasted Penis” in his honour.

10.) Your cowboys vs werewolves pitch will be titled “Butch Patrick and the Sundance Kid”.

11.) Will our military and intelligence services patriotically eject the man illegally occupying the White House before he starts an atomic war? Who will put their humanity above their illegitimate commander and disregard the order to let the missiles fly?

12.) Did you know that for the duration of any county fair, the land it is held on legally counts as being in The South?

13.) Born-rich idiots holding power through non-democratic means, of course they’ll yip at each other like chihuahuas. Chihuahuas with nukes.

14.) Twitter: where you can get spammed by a frothing rando trying to pretend AVATAR was a good movie out of nowhere.