a7 in idea barrages

1.) Everytime you use the shortening JFC online, I read it as “Jesus Fried Chicken”.

2.) Realizing that your privileged identity isn’t the centre of the universe isn’t “performative wokeness”, it’s just being a decent person.

3.) Is Pac-Man gonna post about loving his curvy wife now? Will a meme eventually get us there?

4.) Mr. Tea, a giant sapient pitcher of iced tea, that doesn’t just blast through the walls of homes, through the walls between dimensions.

5.) If you ever own a swimming pool full of marijuana, you’ll be tempted to do a cannonball yelling “CANNABIS!” but you’ll just hurt yourself.

6.) Maybe I would sleep normal hours if I didn’t have the “driving and my brakes have been cut” nightmare every night.

7.) “IT IS OUR RIGHT TO HARASS PEOPLE UNHARASSED!” Ah, the “alt-right”. Ah, the heart of the entire American conservative ethos.

8.) Before the bottom of the 8th, Twins fans should sing “Swede Caroline, da da da, lutefisk always tastes so good, so good, so good, so good!”

9.) ART IDEA: a mixed-media collage. The bottom layer is a grid of black and white prints of the “Temperance” tarot card, checkerboarded alternating uncoloured and hastily scribbled with yellow highlighter maker, lightly flecked with little metallic hearts from Valentine’s confetti hearts. The second layer is a spreading “puddle” of cut-up dollars bills. The third layer, a print-out of a Catholic sacred heart, jaggedly cut in half down the middle and separated into two pieces, as if the money puddle is coming out of the middle of the heart. At the bottom of the piece, spelled out in magazine cut-out, as if from a ransom letter, the word “TEMPERANCE”.