august 1 in idea barrages

1.) Maybe the Gloversville petting zoo would be doing better if the main point of their billboards wasn’t “CASH ONLY, NO CREDIT OR DEBIT”.

2.) AGNOSTICS AREN’T SURE IF THEY DID IT AT ALL.

3.) In this nightmare, I was trying to fend off superheroes that had become vampires while also trying to get a car repaired.

4.) Do the Russians have a tape of Scaramucci peeing in the White House Rose Garden? On a hooker, just in the roses, whatevs.

5.) Parody of either Dylan’s “Girl From The North Country” or “Scarborough Fair” about The Vermont Country Store catalog would please only me.

6.) If soulless enough to work for the fake Trump “presidency”, you cede your rights to non-fatal/non-illness/non-injury sympathy.

7.) If a married merman has a cod as his side-piece, is she his cod-piece?

8.) If I ever I do a second chapbook, maybe it’ll be just of my stand-up poetry and be titled “Laugh” after the abandoned McLaughlin’s storefront in Dolgeville.