719 in idea barrages

1.) When hipsters call their ware “small batch” do they realize that is also slang for “tiny sex parts”?

2.) When you’ve got one piece of pottery firing and a second waiting its turn, is that your next-of-kiln?

3.) If boat whistles blow, you gotta pretend that they’re just saying “boat”. “BOOOOOOOOAT! BOOOOOOOAT!”

4.) The right’s problem: can’t believe anyone’s actually altruistic. The far-left’s problem: can’t accept getting good done requires compromise.

5.) In my Hanna Barbera head canon, Grape Ape has a green cousin called Mint Chocolate Chimp. (Also, Orangrangutan.)

6.) If Disney wants money, you know Dunking Booths? Jar-Jar Strangling Booths. Cash. Money.

7.) I’ve realized I don’t know enough Canadians for an “East Side Wario’s” joke to land.

8.) I saw a QR code on my Twitter feed and my first thought was “I wonder if Google-Plus is also still a thing.”