j20 in idea barrages

1.) Whenever you hear an “alt-right” “MRA” “PUA” douche-nozzle call himself an “Alpha” imagine him as that dumb robot from Power Rangers.

2.) We are, like, a week away from Trump getting confused and banning Foreigner from our shores.

3.) That moment where you realize your best shot at Star Wars cosplay would be the Rancor Keeper.

4.) “Skeletor” is an anagram for “leeks rot”.

5.) The Indian restaurant were so defensive of their secret recipes, they made all the employees sign a naan-disclosure agreement.

6.) Bazinga is an anagram for “nerd minstrel show”.

7.) Have a salad of olives, grapes and freshly-torn herbs with a vinaigrette on top. It will be… a meta-salad.

8.) Underwear that says “The End Is Nye” on the front and has a picture of Bill Nye over the butt.

9.) Anyone else pretend you’re microwaving everything on the other side of the doors when you use the elevator or am I just too awesome?

10.) Sell deep-fried meat in the shape of catchers’ mitts. Sell them as “Crispin’ Glovers”. Make all the money.

11.) Minions have the exact minimum amount of features to still be considered a creature.

12.) Some people have brains full of snakes or, as doctors call it, Medusa Oblongata.

13.) The reason I don’t vlog is that, happily, my narcissism is outdone by how much video editing gives me hives.