julythree in idea barrages

1.) If you wear a bunch of “The Cure” pins but you’re not actually into The Cure, is that stolen pallor?

2.) The fake president is literally down to schoolyard taunts. Thanks, Putin! Thanks everyone who voted for Russia Today awardee Jill Stein!

3.) The most common last words now are “erase my browser history”. Though mine will be “the treasure is buried at…“

4.) “Lately Madonna/sounds like she’s British/was she cursed by some sort of Celtic witch?” is the kernel of a Beatles parody. “Lately Madonna, who is she foolin’, we all know she was raised in Mich-i-gaaaaaaan”.

5.) We joked about Idiocracy until the day Vlad Putin’s fake president literally cut a goddamn wrestling promo against the idea of journalism.

6.) Quit using “woke” pejoratively or sarcastically. Being aware of your own and society’s biases is common decency, not something to mock.

7.) Theatre people don’t say “god bless you” or “gesundheit” when you sneeze. They say “the snottish play”.

8.) I wonder if Vlad will tell Trump about his dinner with Jill Stein and they’ll just laugh like super-villains about it.