621 in idea barrages

1.) May as well be carving concerns into Pompeii’s walls but can’t give up now. Wouldn’t even know how.

2.) Just once I’d like to see a Cathy Mitchell infomercial where halfway through, Edie McClurg jumps in and beats the tar out of her.

3.) Two giant bird-monsters feast on a wild boar. One notes that it tastes like human, the other retorts “everything tastes like human to you”.

4.) The prequels were in-universe anti-1st-Order propaganda whose director’s parents were murdered by Gungans after a screening of SPACE-ZORRO.

5.) Luke’s favourite holo-kid’s-show on Tatooine was HOWDY DEWBACK.

6.) Kenny Rogers “The Gambler” except the gambler is the one alien in STAR TREK who yells “I’ll wager 200 Quatloos on the newcomer!”

7.) Aliens save the world by threatening to blow up monuments if all student loans aren’t forgiven in ALIENS VS. CREDITORS.

8.) Kirk & Picard enjoying the water park on the Love Boat. “Captain Stubing? Captains tubing. Captains tubing? Captain Stubing.”

9.) If wealth is your measure of success, you’re playing a losing game because nobody’s rich once they’re dead.

10.) Don’t let them exploit your labour because otherwise “they’ll move the jobs”. Wherever there’s people, work will be needed to be done.

11.) You’re so veiny, I bet phlebotomists really love you, you’re so (YOU’RE SO) veiny, I bet phlebotomists love to stab you, stab you

12.) I want a team to have a chimpanzee mascot just so we could get to “The Chimp Hit The Fan” headline, someday.

13.) Eat Dave Coulier’s still-beating heart to gain his power and declare yourself “Dave Couliest”.

14.) I finally realized what the math of the hipster look is: they’re trying to look like an upper-crust British noble in a moonshiner costume.

Last updated June 21, 2017