620 in idea barrages

1.) There are certainly saddest phrases than “butternut squash risotto” but, damn, isn’t that crushing enough as it is?

2.) Your designer scarf shop will be called “The Scarving Artist” and may God have mercy on your soul.

3.) Bring your jug-band to the Gathering of the Juggalos. Pretend to have been misinformed. In the confusion, set up a science classroom.

4.) I like to think that if you’re on a death-metal tour, they call the little room to hang out in pre-show with snacks is called The Gein Room.

5.) If I ever accidentally inspire a religion at least make sure you get excommunicated for eating Red Vines at the movies instead of Twizzlers.

6.) A giant sea-creature holds your corpse up to its child’s ear. “See, honey?” it bellows “It sounds like the dry land!”

7.) I like how the facebook movie-link-spambots all have the names of minor Elder Gods. I’m lookin’ at you, “Gilank C’puTra Xsimba”.

8.) Your horoscope for today is a bunch of things engineered to sound specific but could really apply to nearly anyone. Tomorrow’s too.

9.) A downside to live-riffing society’s collapse on social media, of course, is that when the collapse is complete, “the cloud” will go w/ it.

10.) No one would watch David Blaine if they called him “Dave Blaine”. The same thing with Criss Angel’s real name “Cornball Mc1995”.

11.) You know what “intolerance” for hate is? Heroism. Be a goddamn hero today.

12.) Social media feels like an exercise in attempting to consciously harness a butterfly effect while 20 million butterflies flap in opposition.

13.) When the privileged speak of “freedom” it’s their freedom to threaten people or exploit people. They don’t know what “freedom” really means.

14.) Favour emboldens the fortunate, God help us all.