june 15 in idea barrages

1.) Male privilege messes men up so much already, you grant us handsome privilege too, we’re probably doomed to go squirrely, I reckon.

2.) If you sleep with two dryads, is that a tree-way?

3.) Breitbart should change its name to “Non-Soup Nazis”.

4.) Slicing bread was the original loafhack.

5.) You don’t have to KILL young Hitler with your time machine, just prop him up as an ironic outsider artist so he doesn’t go into politics.

6.) Gathering egg yolks can lead to separation anxiety.

7.) If you need a pornographer in the FLINTSTONES universe, you don’t have to change Larry Flynt’s name at all.

8.) The fact we didn’t all start city smelts to melt down all the goddamn murder sticks after Sandy Hook still mystifies me.

9.) If it turns out that the stridency of the alt-left Bernie dead-enders pushed a mentally ill man to go shooting, I’m sad but not surprised.

10.) Maybe the dog just wants to play a tabletop RPG. “BARD!” he yells “BARD BARD BARD, I must sing the song of my people!”

11.) I guess it’s just sad proof that anti-Clinton tin-hat conspiracies on both the left and the right can trigger the ill to go nuts with a gun.

12.) These “Christians” whose messiah told them to turn the other cheek but they’d rather go for their concealed carry murder button.

13.) His mortal weakness was mediocre chain restaurant watered-down drinks. It was his A Chilis Heel.

14.) The arts are about working hard in case you get a lucky break. Not “hard work will get you there”, “work hard in case you get there”.

15.) I think I’ll write a poem about the power of de-escalation. Our world needs it now, I think.