june 13 in idea barrages

1.) The knock-off version of an Oreo McFlurry is a Hail Hydrox.

2.) Really, the name “Tom Sizemore” was wasted on a non-porno actor.

3.) TRUE FACT: The only time Pizza Hut was relevant was when you could buy Back To The Future 2 Sunglasses there.

4.) I am not familiar enough with Prince’s oeuvre to write a “Raspberry Bidet” parody, sadly.

5.) Lemon parties have a strict three-dink minimum.

6.) A sentient wharf, charged with murder, put on trial by a jury of his piers.

7.) The first two attempts to hypnotize the snake ended up disastrously but, hey, third time’s the charmer.

8.) Whenever someone yells about “the sanctity of amateur sports” they mean “we can’t have the ATHLETE making this money, WE should!”