junexii in idea barrages

1.) I guess Macaulay Culkin must’ve mistaken Trump as normal on the Home Alone 2 set because Michael Jackson was his baseline.

2.) THE CAKE IS AN ALTERNATIVE FACT

3.) “Who is more thin-skinned than the self-effacing?” he asked himself. “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT!” he responded to himself.

4.) “America,” it will read on the tombstone, “They Hated Each Other More Than Their Shared Oppressors”.

5.) A guy in a fedora and a neckbeard rapping “Come, m’lady, come come, m’lady”.

6.) A 24-hour chicken stand called “Fry By Night”.

7.) If Trump and Putin had a threeway with a French hooker, would that be a Paris troika?

8.) Maybe I’ll start calling the fake president “The Vainglorious P.I.G.”

9.) Shell bikini tops for mermaids are all the same size, sea-cup.

10.) The fault in fact sits not within us or the stars, the fault, dear Brutus, lie within our scars.

11.) I bet even Aerosmith gets disappointed when “Come Together” starts on the radio and it turns out to be the Aerosmith cover.