may18 in idea barrages

1.) Whenever I see Mark Wahlberg in a “cute” commercial, I wanna retch. He once blinded a man just for being Vietnamese, for Christ’s sake.

2.) The bad news is, this story will move forward after we are gone someday. The good news, well, that’s also the good news.

3.) A painting of fireplace pokers all playing a game of “Hungry Hungry Hippos” except with dogs.

4.) You know what would be delicious? Nutella but without the hazelnut.

5.) In Soviet Russia, Bo knows many things but remains silent so as not to call down the wrath of the Secret Police.

6.) Your band that plays 60s psychedelica on bluegrass instruments will be called JEFFERSON STEAMBOAT.

7.) Every time they use “liberal” as a slur, replace it with the word “humane” and they’re still saying the same thing.

8.) Bad news is: all who wander are lost. Good news is: the people who’ve convinced themselves they’re not wandering are just as lost as we are.

9.) The change will not come from the Republican Congress because they are complicit. They know exposing Trump will expose themselves.

10.) The perfect is the enema of the good. It thinks its purifying things but it just agitates an opening for us all to get crapped on far worse.