may15 in idea barrages

1.) If there’s nothing new under the sun then, baby, everything is new. Go into the world, go do as you do.

2.) I guess I could write a parody of Alice In Chains “Would” about the woodchuck puppet on FULL HOUSE but it’d only please me.

3.) Kevin McAllister in HOME ALONE was the very first prepper. FACT. True fact.

4.) “Fake it ‘til you make it” has us this close to the end of this species. Stop faking it, everyone. Get good then call us back.

5.) An idiot rich kids’ hedonism cruise turning out to be a bust is not nearly the schadenfreude we needed, internet. Stop selling it as that. Unless every kid at the Fyre Festival was brainwashed and unleashed on Silicon Valley like an army of Patty Hearsts, it’s not enough.

6.) Call your band “Durian Durian” but only if you really really stink.

7.) If someone overwhelms you with naked pictures out of nowhere, is that a flash flood?

8.) Taking away someone’s healthcare so you can buy your third yacht is an intentional act of terrorism and must be discussed as such.

9.) Shows what YOU know, 70s television, my bippy isn’t sweet at all! It’s savoury and a little musky!

10.) Whenever I see someone refer to “pictures from their cell” I first assume “jail cell” and… metaphorically, I’m sort of right.

11.) Reconsider me, universe. I have a lot more wild ideas than most people do and my intentions are good. Let’s do this.

12.) Pretty soon, all film bloopers will just be people tripping in front of a green screen. Good luck with that.

13.) Name your movie “Titledrop” and have the last spoken line of dialogue be just the word “Titledrop”.

14.) Someone MUST have written a fic about Batman assuming Dr. Who was The Riddler.

15.) Half my problem is that I hold my life to the standard of my very best self when I’ve only been my very best self occasionally, as of late.

16.) If you crossed ALF and My Step-Mother Is An Alien, it would be about Willy’s alien side-piece and be called MILF. Fact. True fact.

17.) King is dead but hes not forgotten/this’s the story of Andy Kaufman/dead as the king is but sang the same/King is dead but hes not forgotten

18.) 3-D PRINT YOUR COMMUNION HOSTS FOR INTERNET CATHOLICISM.

19.) She don’t have legs/she’s some kind of some kind of fish-thing/yet still she begs/she’s hopin’ and wishing

20.) Worse than dystopia, we are living in a dyspopia, whatever that is.