a representative barrage in idea barrages

1.) Ebenezer could not believe he had contracted Trichinosis. “Bah,” he said derisively, “ham bug!”

2.) If I had muscles, I’d flex them in public until someone asked me what I was doing then I’d say “Rippling, believe it or not.”

3.) Your math-rock band will be called Modal Mouse.

4.) Has anyone ever recorded a comedy album called “Problematic For The People” like as an REM riff? If not, I call it.

5.) Chris Kimball, formerly of America’s Test Kitchen, should have a child sidekick dressed exactly like him called Lil Kimball.

6.) A parody of “Jingle Bells” about a night on the toilet after Taco Bell?

7.) A missing scene from STAR WARS where Luke says “That’ll do, Biggs. That’ll do.”

8.) If you have a punk band that performs parody songs in my anti-filk style, please call it BLECH FLAG.

9.) If a SOUTH PARK has never involved the line “Where in the world is Cartman? San Diego?” it has failed utterly.

10.) I want The Rock to do an infomercial for woks. Rock Woks! If you smell what the wok is cookin’! George Foreman will be so jealous.

11.) Half the job of being a priest is really just cross-promotion.

12.) If you’re a doctor performing the world’s first scrotal transplant surgery, you better be humming “Papa’s Got A Brand New Bag”.

13.) You don’t get to make this The Bad Timeline without us fighting back a little bit. Thunder clouds gather.

14.) I wanna know why our crazy billionaires don’t have cool names like TONY STARK and instead sound like Dollar Store colognes. ELON MUSK. Feh.