0426 in idea barrages

1.) Would more people use condoms if we called them “bonedanas”?

2.) I used to be a hypochondriac but I think I got sick of it.

3.) CATHOLIC JOKE: You know what happens when God “assumes”. “U” and “me” get our “ass” up into heaven without physically dying first.

4.) Some honest person originally named it “the awful cucumber” until some ad-man came along and called it “zucchini”.

5.) Some people wanna work their way to the corner office. Some people wanna figure out how not to have to go to an office. Be the second type.

6.) (The Stock Market is a Multi-Level Marketing Scheme.)

7.) Go into a church. Point at Jesus and go “Oh look, another hipster athlete into the cross-training fad!” They really love that.

8.) In England, they can’t call it “junk in the trunk” so what do they call it? I vote for “scoot in the boot”.

9.) The only way to neutralize the horrors of The Flying Nun is with some sort of Frock of Seagulls.

10.) Your concept rap album about youtube will be called “Description Boxx and The Comments Below”.

11.) Hit on a member of the Blue Man Group with the line “french me like you do your paint girls”.

12.) If I were the world’s strongest clown, my stage name would be Rough Chuckles.