419 in idea barrages

1.) An alternate title for “American Gods” could be “Myth Takin’ Identities”.

2.) Another parody concept funny in theory but lacking an audience to get the joke: “Dr. Feelgood”/”Dr. Strangelove”.

3.) If MTV taught me anything, the opposite of a cartoon cat is not a cartoon dog but rather Paula Abdul.

4.) Believing in something that doesn’t exist is easy. Knowing it doesn’t but still enjoying the concept anyway is where the fun is.

5.) The nadir of singledom is that realization that, indeed, your best self is very desirable but you are far from your best self right now.

6.) 83% of the time you can’t understand a person’s motivations, the answer will be “they thought they could magically will a lie into reality.”

7.) Any pancake recipe that goes viral because it’s supposedly haunted is a crepeypasta.

8.) 83% of youtube seems predicated on the idea that you can be driven to literal madness because a video game or movie was poorly produced.

9.) The death-powered opponents to the Green Lanterns were The Black Lanterns but, dammit, they should’ve been the Gein Lanterns.

10.) I am disappointed that Michael Mann never named any of his kids Tim. What a blown opportunity.

11.) When a culture gives up on gradual improvement for unworkable quick fixes that immediately backfire, it has reached its Ralph Nadir.

12.) If you say “Space Jam is my jam” into a mirror three times, irony briefly breaks and the ghost of I Love The 80s will haunt you.

13.) “Low-Rise” is the worst lost opportunity for a pun ever. CALL THEM BELLY-JEANS.

14.) Vince Offer is cryogenically frozen and awakes to fight crime in a sterile dystopian future in DEMOSTRATION MAN.

15.) The stress of speed running Super Mario Brothers 2 can lead to a mental breakdown known as a doki doki panic attack.

16.) Something something Kurt Vonnegut adaptation, something something WWF women wrestlers, something something “Sirens of Titan”.

17.) A JRPG video game where every character is a dog called “Fetch Quest”.

18.) I enjoy how pugs look like a burnt peen with a wrinkly foreskin but no one lets them know this because they are good dogs.

19.) The secret 100% completion ending to WHERE IN THE WORLD IS CARMEN SANDIEGO was just text that read “she was in your heart, all along”.

20.) An Irish zombie that only moans “Brrrrrrrrrrrogues, brrrrrrogues” but in an adorable way.

21.) Xyzal’s ad campaign seems to hinge on people trusting a CGI owl where any sane person’s reaction to it should be “kill it with fire”.

22.) “Fastest growing newscast in the region” is a weird brag when there are only two in the region and it’s been that way for decades.

23.) I wonder what account on Twitter has the least amount of followers but still has a check-mark. No particular reason, just sounds fun.

24.) Betsy DeVos may not LITERALLY be an anagram for “Cruella DeVille” but you know, metaphorically. A spiritual anagram.

25.) I wonder if anyone ever had a crush on Mavis Beacon and had to be told she wasn’t real.

26.) A sick hipster is “so over the weather”.