46 in idea barrages

1.) When we let “career politician” be an insult instead of a compliment, this is what we get. Career politicians are less corrupt than people who move between business and public service because they haven’t a business to enrich.

2.) The extreme version of the Sunset Strip includes the Whiskey-A-Gogurt.

3.) Scan on the car radio, four different country stations, all their songs barely distinguishable from each other. Guys singing about trucks.

4.) Number of people spotted who look like Steve Bannon if he wasn’t rich in Little Falls today: 5. Number of people who look like that homophobic court clerk who wouldn’t sign gay marriages spotted in Little Falls today: 12. Steve Bannon can’t attend NSA meetings right now because he sprained his arm heiling too often. So now we can all agree that Steve Bannon looks like Baron Harkonen from David Lynch’s DUNE if he was a strip club bouncer?

5.) My lack of a faith doesn’t mean my life’s directionless or nihilistic. I know why we are here. We’re here to help each other hurt less.

6.) I’m glad Manilow is comfortable as who he really is but I thought he came out like 15 years ago? Am I confusing him with Rod Stewart?

7.) In role-playing games you should call breast implants “mimics” because they’re fake chests.

8.) Pretend that you think “Cat Stevens” was Darrin Stevens after Endora turned him into a cat.

9.) Your chiptune band will be called MARIO Speedwagon.

10.) Butler flies in the sky/skyscrapers? twice as high/I exclaim/in the Batplane/Alfred From Batman…

11.) If you win a poetry slam, what title do you receive? Slamlord/Slamlady?

12.) A list of the people who preferred the Johnny Depp-Tim Burton version of Willy Wonka: Johnny Depp, Tim Burton.

13.) If you want a Twitter omelet, you’re gonna have to break some Twitter eggs.

14.) If you can only eat science fiction short stories from the 1980s, you are an Omnivore.

15.) In the US the Protestant Work Ethic mutated became even more hideous a belief that if you’re famous it means you’re right & God favors you.

16.) The bigots despise more than anything when their hatred is dragged screaming out of subtext into the bright light of context. Always do it.

17.) The Thing is gone but he’s not forgotten, this is the story of Grimm Benjamin

18.) I realized at last what to call my political stripe: I’m a bleeding-heart pragmatist. More worried about doing good now than grand ideology.

19.) Watching LASAGNA CAT is especially bittersweet as when I was five, my dream was to draw Garfield comics. Full-circle.