404 in idea barrages

1.) Cockrings are anti-climactic.

2.) They found The Beast bloated, lying on the floor, belching. “Where is Beauty?” they screamed. “Don’t you know Beauty is on the inside?”

3.) A classier name for the Fleshlight would’ve been the Imagina.

4.) If I was losing a court case to Jim The Hammer Shapiro, I would yell “Objection! Please Hammer, don’t hurt ‘em!”

5.) For one day, at least, the Mets are good, though the situations at CF and C are still a goddamned mess.

6.) Blood for the blood gods! Mud for the mud gods!

7.) The fall of the Roman empire underneath capricious inexperienced child emperors is so much like today I wanna throw up.

8.) Maybe what separates you the “Great Men” is not genius or hard work but rather you’re not a jerk & you refuse to consciously exploit people.