330 in idea barrages

1.) Don’t say “I can’t do this”. Say “I can’t do this yet”. With practice and time, very few things are truly impossible.

2.) Pulpy orange juice: for people who think liquid is supposed to have chunks.

3.) Any time I hear a food referred to as “thick and delicious”, I assume they’re talking about me.

4.) Did you hear Troy McClure is having car trouble? Yeah, he blew a seal.

5.) I’m a human being first, a Mets fan second, it’s disgusting Familia barely gets a slap on the wrist for spousal abuse.

6.) Wouldn’t it be great if in the remake of IT, it wasn’t an evil clown but a haunted Information Technology department?

7.) She had a psychic stomach that could project itself onto the gastral plane.

8.) Sell bricks of chalk to people addicted to eating inedible objects. Call them Pica Chews. Hope Nintendo doesn’t sue.