328 in idea barrages

1.) Covering Hanson songs in the style of Charles Manson as “Manson” makes sense because “Mmmbopgimmiebopawoobop” is something he’d say.

2.) If your Pokemon themed porno doesn’t involve “Vulvasaur” you have done it wrong.

3.) The more romantic amoungst us don’t want Shaggin’ Wagons, we want Cuddleacs.

4.) I mean I LOVE myself but I’m not IN LOVE with myself.

5.) The old sages are now all past, the previous generation of bards all have breathed their last. It’s on us now. No more choice in the matter.

6.) I wonder how many times something amazing almost happened but I was either a coward or blind to the potential. The fear of being a coward is one hell of a feedback loop.

7.) The miscalculation behind Trumpcare was vast: almost no one voted for The Game Show Host because they wanted health insurance executives to be even richer. Bigots voted for him because they wanted the human rights of Muslims taken away or because they wanted the human rights of Hispanics taken away or because they wanted the human rights of LGBTs taken away or because they wanted the human rights of women taken away. Or conspiracy crazies because they swallowed the Russian lies about a lifelong public servant, maybe. And he STILL lost by three million votes. But they still somehow thought this gave them leverage to steal 25 million peoples health insurance. Arrogance and kleptocracy, at once.

8.) I was surprised Captain Hook never got into politics, he was always good with a stump speech.

9.) Wilma finally filed for divorce, sick of Fred taking her for granite.

10.) Stomach ache from fear of being caught shoplifting? Try Klepto-Bismol.

11.) Tired? There’s a Napp for that.

12.) Depression is the better part of Valium.

13.) I have been living on tilt for far too long. Years. Probably as far back as when I still lived in L.A. Reactively pinballing from crisis to crisis, never really centring myself or having a plan. This has gotta end.

14.) Johnny Appleseed always got a core workout in.