32 in idea barrages

1.) You’re buying a terrible fast food sub for convenience’s sake. Taking the time to “toast” it to make it slightly less bad fools no one.

2.) Wart removal, get into that, it’s a growth industry.

3.) Watching Colbert, I discovered that “Survivor” wasn’t cancelled 10 years ago.

4.) If I had to open a fortune telling shop in a mall, I would call it SEERS just to mess with people.

5.) I had no idea Chris Kattan was still alive but if he has to do DANCING WITH THE STARS perhaps my imagined oblivion was better for the lad.

6.) You’re an eldritch mix of dark and light, sparking matches as if its some kind of rite, asking the long night to make everything all right.

7.) Live every day like your next to last. The last is for pleading and goodbyes, the next to last is for the REAL good stuff.

8.) A “Run Run Rudolph” parody about Gandalf?

9.) A story where Anakin goes to Alderaan to pose as Leia’s nanny called MRS. DARTHFIRE.

10.) It seems like a kind of punishment, to witness the dread tide slowly rise with only but a useless teacup in your hands, here by the shore.

11.) Shadoobie… SHATNER… Shadoobie… SHATNER, SHATNER…

12.) The stewardess told the plane to turn off their e-readers. Someone whispered “the Scientology thing?” We were headed to LA, of course.

13.) Never confuse the feeling of righteousness with the action of having done good. Often, they are in diametric opposition.

14.) If there were “The Clockwork God”, the God that sets it in motion then allows it go on untouched, is this what She’d feel like looking down on America? By turns enraged, disappointed, mournful but more than anything else helpless? A hands-off God would have as much ability to fix this as I and all I feel is helpless.