217 in idea barrages

1.) Really, Dunkin, why would I want a coffee that tastes like a brownie? Couldn’t I just eat a brownie while drinking my coffee?

2.) A nightmare with every woman I’ve dated or had a serious crush on in it was not something I was prepared for.

3.) Do not mistake “damaged” for “broken”. You have a few cracks, you have a few chips but you can still achieve the marvelous.

4.) Most of all, don’t make a Led Zepplin themed porno called HOUSES OF THE HORNY. The pun would not be worth the horrors.

5.) Trump’s maybe not the stupidest “president” but he is the most willfully ignorant & unengaged. GW probably at least TRIED to know things.

6.) Your evil chef character will be called Despairagus.

7.) The unexamined life is not worth living, sure, but the overexamined life has similarly gone unlived.

8.) And we’ll never be mohels (mohels)/can’t stand the sight of blood/no cut or nip, can’t leave a tip/our hands just aren’t that steady, bud