xmaseveeve barrage in idea barrages

1.) Most importantly no law, revocation of right, no legal action or appointment is legitimate under a presidency attained by espionage & fraud.

2.) TRUE FACT: Elves poop bells and if they don’t clean themselves properly, can sometimes develop jingleberries.

3.) The only “or GTFO” I live by is “View Entire Article On One Page Or GTFO”.

4.) Three things are unavoidable: death, taxes and VHS copies of goddamned Mary Kate and Ashley specials in the Salvo.

5.) “Mid-Life Crisis On Infinite Earths” would be a helluva title for something.

6.) Everytime I hear a baby in the background of a video game playthrough on youtube, I imagine the horsemutant baby from ERASERHEAD.

7.) Oh my God, you people thought Ferris Bueller would be a good leader and that’s why you voted for Trump. You think the con man won’t con you.

8.) I demand your book about the history of the bathroom be called “Plop Culture”.

9.) I demand a prequel to Carrie about how the bullies get away with acquiring all that pig blood. BUCKET ONE: A CARRIE STORY.

10.) A presidency gained by espionage & fraud is as morally or ethically legitimate as King George’s rule was if not less.

11.) They really screwed up not calling Fred Claus “Murray Christmas” and I hope they all know it.

12.) Think about all the movies with terrible “chase to the airplane” endings that’d now end with getting tased by the TSA, at best.

13.) I don’t believe anyone thinks about sex 7 times a minute but then again I think about dissecting our culture’s tropes that often so…

14.) In my mind, I’m sure at least a few people fetishize Splinter from the Ninja Turtles but in my heart, I just hope it’s not true for anyone.

15.) You didn’t name your cooking show about soup “Stock Footage” and you know you did wrong.

16.) Your sitcom “Allah Y’All” about a Muslim family moving to the rural south will be rejected but everyone will tell you the title’s clever.

17.) Amazing how many in the halls of power don’t oppose this madness as they still think it can be used to their advantage. History disagrees.

18.) Religion would be so much easier to accept if there were even a few telekinetic God-powered warrior monks running around fighting crime.

19.) Never in history was there an election after a fraudulent one where the coup-in-state didn’t rig the next worse. “2018!” is naive at best.

20.) 16 was the year we learned that while America was no longer racist enough to steal the presidency from a black man, sexism? Different story.

21.) Your joke Bond Christmas story HER MAJESTY’S SECRET SANTA will be 500% more interesting than any James Bond story ever.

22.) “Shoveling snow” is such an unnecessarily tame euphemism for “spraying frozen dog urine into your own face”.