128 in idea barrages

1.) Facebook pumped an ad into my feed “Most Anticipated Facebook Game 2016”. But… no facebook game has ever been anticipated.

2.) Issuing a Lake Effect Storm Watch in northern New York state in December is like issuing a Water Is Wet Watch.

3.) Dear BestBuy, calling your employees “blue shirts” in ads as a neo-fascist rises to the presidency MIGHT not be a good look.

4.) Its fun to believe that the cat is batting at things in alternate dimensions we can’t perceive but, yeah, he’s really just crazy.

5.) Your review for a bad zombie flick will be entitled “Night of the Living Dud”.

6.) Scrooge was just grumpy because of the lingering effects of a bout of trichinosis. That’s why he kept saying “bah, ham bug”.

7.) Your long-form baseball interview show had better be called “Balls Deep”.

8.) Your guide to performing your own surgery had better be called “Suture Self”.

9.) Your Star Trek porn parody had better involve “attractor beams”.

10.) Winning four Oscars totally ruined thousands of “No Country For Gold Men” headlines.

11.) If you invent a bra for the ass, call it a “buttress”.

12.) Some days I feel like a sex machine, others I’m more of a Cuddleac.