1120 in idea barrages

1.) If your Catholic school has a football team, there’d better be a “2, 4, 6, 8, who can transubstantiate? Jesus, Jesus, yaaay Jesus!” cheer.

2.) Real Talk: The Star Wars Holiday Special’s still better than any of The Prequels at least it fails in an interesting way, isn’t unwatchable. In honour of the Star Wars Holiday Special, to the tune of “Bacon Pancakes”: Wookiepornchair/in the Wookiepornchair/his name is Itchy & he’s sittin’ in the pornchair/Wookiepornchair/he’s gonna be there/Wookiepornchair…

3.) This election, America wore its two-man horse costume long after Halloween and, as always, the Southern one was the horse’s ass.

4.) A little cheesemaking goes a long whey.

5.) Your romantic comedy about a movie star falling in love with a member of one of her films’ crews will be called GET A GRIP.

6.) I am so damn angry we’re told we have to pretend a person who violated the Logan Act by coordinating with Russia is an actual president. I am so angry we’re told we have to pretend a person who MAYBE squeaked in because the Voter Rights Act was gutted is an actual president. I am so angry that we’re told we have to pretend a person filling his inner circle w/ family & anti-Semitic publishers is a real president. I am so angry we have to pretend that a man who will make up factory closures to pretend he prevented them is an actual president. I am so angry.

7.) Mike Pence wants respect from people he wants to be legally forced to electro-shock and pray their gay away? He doesn’t deserve it. Remember: taking people proven to operate in bad-faith at their word is how fascism digs in. If it looks like a dog-whistle, it is one.

8.) Bernie’s being so disappointing gesturing toward normalizing Trump. The parts of the left thinking they can work w/ him don’t know history. The willingness for parts of the left to abandon the rights of women, POC & LGBTs to negotiate for minor economic concessions disgusts me.

9.) If the Electoral College is to serve any protective purpose at all, it’d be to reject a president who coordinated his campaign with Russia.

10.) Ultimately, your animal fancy magazine was fine, I think it just failed because you called it “Pet-O-Philes”.

11.) In your childhood, you make marriage pacts. In your old age, you make suicide pacts. In adulthood, you just live for the day.