barrage of the dead in idea barrages

1.) Your Walking Dead parody of “Put On A Happy Face” will be “Put On A Half Eaten Face”.

2.) I still can’t process that someone thought it a good idea to create a Lethal Weapon teevee show essentially 15 years too late.

3.) Sometimes we’re a persona, sometimes we are just Person A, whatever gets you through the night might not help you come the day.

4.) One of the most plum assignments in Hipster Congress is to head up the Cultural Appropriations committee.

5.) A giant glass dinosaur named Py-Rex.

6.) Your mash-up costume, Noidberg, will require the catch-phrase “I’m coming to ruin your pizzas, why not”.

7.) Your investment service tailored specifically for gamers will be called Sonic The Hedgefund.

8.) I’m sitting out Halloween as a sick person, my costume is stuffed up sinuses.

9.) I hope that at least one person in history has showed up at a swingers’ party thinking it was for adults who still wanna use swing sets.

10.) The best thing about being broke and only attractive in an unconventional manner is knowing that compliments are genuine or pity at worst.

11.) We can’t be neutral against the waves of hate pouring down over this country. We gotta stand against them, however we can.

12.) Nazis took initial hold w/ a plurality, all others w/ heads up asses in theory & debate, angling for a future election that never came.

13.) Your Discordian tribute to Tom Waits will be called Fnordfishtrombones.

14.) Real talk: there’s nothing terrifying about Halloween when there’s a real chance people are going to elect a fascist president in a week.

15.) The death of the mall as a cultural force in America means no more rad mall-based horror movies.

16.) Unable to crucify Sec. Clinton with her husband’s actions, they’re trying to do it with her adviser’s husband. But it’s “not sexist”.

17.) If you’re in a hipster neighborhood tonight, your Gluten costume will scare them far more than any witch or ghost.

18.) Oh God, you have no idea how much I hope I can just go back to obscure puns and baseball minutiae on Twitter after next week.

19.) I guess what’s been holding me back as a writer is my aversion to putting myself up as an authority. Is it essential?

20.) I would’ve wanted to be around when we colonized Mars, if only to see how future Martian hipsters made kitsch of our Mars sci-fi tropes.

21.) A cabal of businessmen tried to overthrow FDR for profit through undermining democracy. Similar folk are trying again.